(an excerpt from a song soon to be released by a major, known, singing group)

Baby...I just wanna be all boo'd up with you...

Whereever we are,
I just wanna be
all boo'd up with you...

the attention that you show me now
is enough to hold me down
whenever you're not around...

baby
I just wanna, I just wanna be
all boo'd up with you

yeah...
_____________

Do you have your boo for the winter?

Cold weather is coming and you need to be fully stocked in the mate department for the next few months.
First, the holidays. Gotta have that person to watch the ball games, parades, and winter specials with. Gotta have that person who'll do the dishes after Thanksgiving for you.

The trading of sentimental trinkets on Christmas (or Channukah or Kwanzaa) and the tender gazes of love and lust over glasses of spiked nog.

Then there's the celebrated kiss when the old year gives way to the New Year.

You got your boo?

Your boo's gotta be able to hang for at least the coldest months of the coming seasons. They've gotta be someone you can stand at least until the groundhog emerges. You've got to be able to cope with their voice, their scents, their habits. Being able to spend extended periods of time with them in confined spaces is a plus. You should be able to blend with your boo: sense of humor, outlook on world events, activity planning. Even if you don't match perfectly, please make sure you and your winter boo don't clash too much. If you clash too much and too often, one person will want to leave the other and you can't be a boo without having a co-boo.

Now's the time to find your boo!!

This month is almost over and time is running short.
Remember, your winter boo does not have to become a year round boo. It's common for boos to become less interactive as the weather warms. Although, having spent all the winter with each other, some winter boos do turn into lasting boos. Nothing wrong with that either.

Oh, and boo sex! It can be some of the best there is. Coming in from the cold rain or snow, getting warm together and then making it HOT!!... it's the stuff of legend and memories. What else have you got to do during the winter besides thinking of and finding new ways to make your boo cum?

sigh.

I'm single and looking to get boo'd up.

Wow....I feel so lost.

and so free.

All at the same time.

I haven't diary-ed or blogged or released in written form in some time.

I've got all this S.H.I.T. bottled up. Here's one thing. Fifty-leben dozen more.

Time to regain my even keel.

___________________

I'm with R. Right now R is not floating my boat. R's babymomma moved in with him. Why? She's the equivalent of a deadbeat: professional slacker who doesn't provide for the kid. R handles that.

So why not have the KID move in?...Not them both. She's grown. She needs to learn to fend for self. Others do. The old adage, "You don't eat if you don't work," applies here: she needs to learn it.
I'm not jealous. Not afraid they'll rekindle. Shit, if they do, they do. I don't think it's likely though. Not deluding myself, but I feel pretty secure in that. However, the willingness to be a receptacle for other's discarded mess (she was dumped by her fiance) that he exhibits bothers me. Sigh.

And so...As I'm prone to do when I'm feeling dejected and despondent, I turn elsewhere looking for a temporary boat-float. Found one. Kinda. It's not even that serious though. It does, however, give me something to think about other than R. That's just it though: I'm thinking about it too damned much.

Met online (what's new? seems like I only meet flakes and deadasses in person). I was busy being elated about R a few weeks ago, so we didn't really connect until recently. Connect? Did we. Could be onesided, but I felt a *click* that I'm missing right now. I've been missing it for a while, apparently. Funny what introspection reveals.
It felt good to feel "felt", understood, affirmed. Laughing at common ironic views on things, similar sentiments. Damn. Cool.

I needed some simple conversation and listening and I got that. I needed some common appreciation of subjects and I got that. Then I wanted attentive, intuitive sensuality combined with sexuality, verbalized desire, fervor, heat. Boy did I get that.

I feel like a fuckin' crack addict.

He probably didn't mean to, but this man blew me the fuck away. Don't get me wrong, I'm not downing his skills, 'cause he gots S.K.I.L.L.S.!! but it was more what I was needing that made it so spectacular. He filled that need and now I'm fiending like, "Please sir: I want some more!"

I think I simply want escape in that feeling...and I want to revisit it over and over and over. Some people take long baths to wash away the b.s. of life; I'm using the high I got that night.
It's only that particular high that I crave at this moment.

Sad to say...don't think I've ever done this before: while I was with R the other day I was fantasizing about [we'll call him] Z. I've never before had an issue with R's fucking/lovemaking/sexing. I felt so unabashedly entitled to have this other man's face and lips and tongue and hands and dick and body and voice in my thoughts. I couldn't push the thoughts away hard as I tried.

I went to sleep with this man on my mind and awoke fearing I'd given voice to my thoughts and fantasy. He was not a fantasy though: he is a reality that I've experienced. I want and need more of it.

Fickle as I am though, this craving, this desire, the yearning may vanish as quickly as it began. It could all be an exaggeration of something nice, but less than what I've mocked it up to in my head. NAW! I was there and it was what it was.

I don't feel guilty about cheating. I do feel, know, that something is missing. How to fix that is the bigger problem.

Of course, my mind changes direction as the fish in my astrological indicator, so tomorrow may bring another sun.

Big sigh.