The Competition

Funny is...the urge that we all have to compare ourselves with others, especially as it relates to relationships and break ups. We wonder what was it the other person had, has, does, is, can/will/has done to lure or catch our exes.
Usually, the answer is simple and clear. Not a gatdamn thing.

I had an occasion to view my "competition" last night. She's the chick that my ex got with after we broke up. She's actually also a former "sorta friend" from currently and a friend from back in high school days. When exactly she took up with him, in terms of communication and whatnot, is unclear. What is clear is that they took things a lot further than rebound 4 months after we broke up, when they got married. Married.
They don't live together (still, yet), but they got married. Okay.
That shit hurt then. It was also very incredible. Now...it's still incredible, but only that.
But...since I have common friends with them/her, I'd been hearing things about her. Her appearance specifically.

Now I will say that she was not ugly back then, but she was not cute. After high school, with some exposure to life and such, she matured and became a bit more attractive. That era is apparently over. WAY over.

My competition...isn't.

I'm a chunky chic. Chunky, but shapely. I want to lose a few pounds, tone up, but I've got a shape if I never do that. It's not all about the aesthetic...but sometimes it IS. In this case, it is! Especially when mutual friends are describing her in less than flattering terms; not just women but men. I could think that they were doing that only for my benefit...and I tend to give folks the benefit of the doubt because every one's taste isn't the same.

Um...there is no benefit to be given. I really wish that overweight chicks would stop using the term "curvy". Yes, I'm overweight, yes I'm shapely...I'm truly curvy. That broad is LUMPY and not to mention FRUMPY.
I asked my boy to pull up her Facebook page yesterday because I had to see for myself. WoW! She's gained weight since the last time I saw her -less than a year ago- and she carries it very poorly. She dresses it even worse.
When I saw her, she was in sweats and a jacket. It was late fall/early winter...me giving the bennies of doubt, right.

Yeah, well, not anymore. I saw the pics last night and thought, "Ewwww, for real? You go from me to her? Yeah, playa, you need to keep that."
She has Monique's (old, bigger Monique) old chin and gut tucked up under hers and had on some body's Grandma's old sweater on over it. And these weren't candid, not expecting the picture shots, but she was apparently dressed to be 'out'.

Yeah, no...aesthetics are not everything, but looking put together doesn't hurt. And for her to call herself curvy?? More like blocky as a cinder block wall.

I can't say why, but it gave me even more peace to know that he didn't upgrade but rather downgraded. My girl friend, who was a very close friend of his, told me long ago that he wasn't able to handle my 'glow'. She didn't say that to gas me up, but she was evaluating what she knew of him. It jibed completely with what I'd come to know about him. From what I'm seeing he went to...yeah, he chose a pile of wax rather than the illuminated, long burning, fragrant, elegant tapered candle that he had in me. And that's completely fine because I have need for someone whose spirit is lit by LED and isn't threatened by a bit of extra light in the room.